What do family and marriage mean for us? Love, harmony, understanding, significance for someone. Most people starting a joint life, and this is exactly what they imagine in the future - a cloudless, full of feelings of a friendly strong shoulder, because spouses are no longer just lovers, they are also friends who share good and bad, give advice and empathize. But not always and not every family manages to maintain mutual understanding and empathy, which is inherent in the first years of dating. On the contrary, over time, the family ceases to be a cozy hearth, a reliable stronghold, and the half that you idolized yesterday seems distant and indifferent. Why even being married can we feel lonely?
There are several reasons causing a decrease in communication in a married couple, which ultimately leads to a feeling of loneliness, lack of demand, lack of fulfillment in marriage. In women, as a rule, this begins with a shift in priorities in favor of children, obsession with their hobbies, problems, against which interest and attention towards the second half are gradually diminished. For men, there are stereotypes imposed in the parental family: the boy must be strong, he never cries, does not complain, does not ask for sympathy. The inability to speak and the inability to hear another person, while expecting that he himself must unravel your thoughts, widens the invisible abyss. Egoism is becoming increasingly apparent, and each in a pair believes that it is he who must be understood, not intending to make concessions first and begin a dialogue. Another significant reason for the lack of communication in the family is the erasure of the image that was a close person in the period of love after meeting. After all, after some time in marriage, we begin to perceive our carpet in a completely different way and react to all its flaws, which used to be cute eccentricities.
All this contributes to the growing feeling of isolation in the family. Lack of understanding, reticence and inexpressiveness of disturbing thoughts, anxieties, offenses accumulate like a snowball. As a result, once such a loving couple may simply start to coexist based on the banal mutual benefits in everyday life, or even break up.
What needs to be done, how to return emotional warmth and intimacy to spouses? Often, most couples do not tend to such discord and separation from each other. No wonder they say that any relationship, even the most passionate, is a fire, the flame of which needs to be maintained. Spouses dismiss each other, disguising inattention and lack of interest in the problems, concerns, hobbies of another person with their fatigue and hassle. And to recognize that the main reason for loneliness in marriage lies not in this, but in indifference and indifference - very hard.
However, accepting this, realizing not only the blame of the partner, but also his own, you can save the family and start over. Work on yourself, on your way of perceiving each other, taking your role and responsibility for both the highs and lows of relationships. To establish a dialogue is not easy, but it is important to take the first step, even if you are afraid that you will not be understood, to wave away, blocking off indifference and closing with a newspaper. Tell us about your feelings, about how you lack warmth, understanding, support in any, even the smallest questions. But at the same time be sure to ask your loved one about his worries, anxieties. It is important to do it from the heart, without artificiality. Remember, because you probably had common interests and hobbies that you shared. Try to implement them, no matter how irrelevant they may seem. Do not be afraid to show tenderness, affection - sincere care will always be accepted with gratitude and appreciated properly, even if at first it does not appear outwardly.
